Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
