Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I need to stop coming to work sober
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
