I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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