theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
