When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
