i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize