just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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