I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
