What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
