I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
