i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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