i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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