erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
