Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Of course I have a pirate flag
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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