Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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