tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
