Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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