why didn't you poke me back
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
