Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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