so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize