Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
