Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
