I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She announced her abortion via fbk
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It was confusing and full of hummus
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
