i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
