whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
