with your own penis?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
