Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
