Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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