I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
