U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
