Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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