I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
