I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Hippo gnu deer
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize