I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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