there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
