i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
