If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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