I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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