***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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