conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
