idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize