Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize