I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
