OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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