Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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