imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
