Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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