There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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