I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
