I just pynch a tree in the face
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
