Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
