I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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