is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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