Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
