You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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