how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
