You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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