Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
