I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
