He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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