Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She's the barista slut.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
