In America we eat man semen.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
