There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
