like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
