I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
this will be a night to untag.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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